Why I Want To Be Alexis Amore's BFF

I'd like to take a few minutes today to talk about my favorite porn starlett, Alexis Amore, and tell all of you about how Alexis is destined to be my B.F.F. (okay, maybe not really, but a guy can dream.)

This is Alexis.  She's wearing clothes.  If you want to see her without clothes, there's plenty of those kinds of pictures on the 'net and you can go look them up yourself.  Some stats:  5'2", about 100 pounds.  We'll leave out the measurements...you can look those up yourself.  Born in Lima, Peru.  Capricorn (3 years and 4 days older than I am: Dec. 29, 1978) and currently resides somewhere in Los Angeles.  There's the stats!

Okay, so now that we're clear on that, let's discuss why I want to be Alexis's new B.F.F. (well, not literally...the phrase is so Paris Hilton, is it not?  And plus she allegedly already has a B.F.F., so maybe I could just be her F.F.)

1.)  Alexis is a sweetheart.  The industry she works in aside.  No, I'm serious.  Here's a gorgeous, infamous woman who everyone who's seen a picture or film of her wants in some way, shape or form...and she puts up with the demands!  Not only does Alexis maintain her own personal "Official" MySpace page, but when time allows she actually takes the time to answer her fans!  On a few occasions, most recently last Thursday, Alexis has even responded to some of my comments with some of her own!  Her comments are usually brief, but grateful and complimentary.  One night I could see we were both up very late and I commented on it and within 20 minutes she had commented back to say "I can't sleep, I have some great ideas for my site!  Is a good thing, LOL!"  And I'm sure that it was a very good thing for her fans.  But to me, it struck a marvelous impression: here's a woman who could be like "damn, a horny male fan messaging me at 3 in the morning commenting on how we can't sleep.  He probably has some ideas about what we could be doing instead."  But instead, she took 2 minutes out of her evening to comment me back and say "hey, yeah, I'm up, and this is why!  I'm excited!"  Good way to maintain a friendship, no matter how internet-based or brief-comment-based it is, and a good way to connect with her fanbase and say "hey, you guys take the time to care about me, I'll take a few minutes to care about you, too."  Who does that these days???

2.)  Alexis is a very attractive woman (as the picture above is clear evidence from.)  And most men can't handle that.  Forget a relationship with a very attractive women, most men can't handle a FRIENDSHIP with that kind of woman.  I, on the other hand, have a PROVEN TRACK RECORD of being able to be a great friend to many an attractive woman, and across many races and ethnicities.

3.)  I am not a porn star and have no interest in "making a movie" with Alexis.  As much as I'm sure Alexis loves sex, a porn starlett has to have some down time and someone to talk to.  Someone rational and reasonable and fairly intelligent.  Someone she can bounce ideas off of who'll say "yeah, that's a great idea Alexis!" or "you know, that's a good idea, but how about this?"

4.)  Let's face it.  I can roll with her entourage.  I'm a big, beefy guy and she needs big, beefy guys to keep other big, beefy guys off her entourage.

5.)  Alexis is an intelligent, opinionated woman.  Yeah, I'll go with intelligent.  She puts up with a ton of flack from all sorts of people, and it takes intelligence to put up with flack from all sorts of people.  Anti-porn groups.  Christian evangelical groups.  God knows how many others.  When I first became Alexis's MySpace friend, she had just posted a blog that I'd like to share with you in regards to that issue.

YOu ask me how I feel? Well here you go 

Current mood: determined

I want to let you all know how I been feeling for a while now. I'm not the type of girl that writes poems here or a diary everyday. I usually post a bulletin about what I'm doing. But I think that I need my feelings to be in writing this time.

I Love my life, I love my family, I have great friends and I love God. PLEASE to all of you that hate what I do and hate girls that make a living doing what they love to do modeling, strippers, playboy models YOU GET MY POINT. Don't sit here and take your time looking at my webpage, studying my photos and wait for me to fail in life. YOU can't judge me; someone up there has the job to do that. I'm a family person that loves her mother more that anything in this world, I love life and love what I do. If you are my friend you own part of my heart and to all that love me I will give that love back times 20. I can do with my life as I Please. I don't use my money to feed a drug addiction and I don't go around hurting people for no reason. I think that God sees that and that is why I have what I have (I feel Blessed). So please don't waste your time sending me e-mails or comments asking me why I do what I do.

My question to YOU is?

Why the FUCK are you looking at my photos and wasting minutes of your life on me if you don't fucking like it??????

Thanks to ignorant people like you we are fucking STARS

Do me a favor educated yourself on the industry that you like to talk so much about.
That way people won't be looking at you ass move when you talk LMAO

I'm sorry for writing this…. I have always said to myself that I been lucky to have over 100,000 friends and only had blocked about 8 people. I hardly ever get rude, dumb comments but when I do. I have to let it out. Is the LATINA in me. I'm proud to be Peruvian and a Latina that can do what she wants and makes a living not ONLY doing porn. Yeah btw most successful adult stars do other things to make a living.

I want to THANK all my loving fans for always being a support to me. I also want to thank the haters for making me famous LOL

Don't forget.....
IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO. I DON'T LIVE TO PLEASE U!


P.S Excuse my writing you know Spanish is my first language and when I'm mad and hurt Spanish words come to mind first : )


IF you love me stay and be part of myspace ; )
IF not deleted my ass form your page : P

Now, I realize that there's some mis-spellings and so forth in the blog.  But it's this passionate, opinionated piece that comes from a real place and points at the irony in peoples' logic, wherein if people don't like someone, they tend to create an issue and spend as much time focused on the person/thing as the people who like the person/thing.  I appreciated her logic and her posting.

I doubt Alexis will read my blog.  But in the event she does, Alexis, feel free to contact me :-)  ericlbecker@gmail.com.  We'll do lunch.

-Eric

Me (explaining my intentions with Alexis Amore to my friend Jessica):

SupremeGuacamole: I want to be her friend and take her out for coffee and go shopping for shoes and we can start a band and she can be the bass player.

Fuck You, I Am A NINJA!

So I had a performance yesterday (video hopefully available soon, courtesy of Jay Africa of The Moods...link http://www.moods.net ...shout-out to Jay and his amazing band and some of the best people I know...then again, so many people are the best people I know that I should maybe list the worst people I know, that list is shorter and consists of....nevermind, you know who it consists of.)

Then afterwards I went out with Mark and Ed and Dan (Dan the Not-Bar-B-Que Man, as opposed to Dan The Bar-B-Que man...there is a difference!) to what I can only describe as a wacky prom party.

It was Edmond's friends' Ray and Bobbys' birthday party!  Well, Ray and Bobby are my friends, too, but not the way they're Edmond's friends.  The funny thing is, Ed hangs out with Ray, Bobby, and a few other Mexican guys and Edmond's white as whitewash.  So we call them "Edmond Devore and the Merry Mexicans."  What I love about the Merry Mexicans, though, is that they are one of the most welcoming group of guys.  Not to mention that Ray can really cook...but that's besides the point.

We went to a house on the El Monte/La Puente border.  The party was nothing but latinos and latinas.  Some very hot mamis, I might add, ha ha!  And me, Mark, Ed and Dan were the only 3 1/2 white guys there.

We danced 'til 3 A.M.  Cops NEVER showed up.  Wild DJ.  Wild party.

And my wacky prom outfit?  Just look at the attached picture :-)  Like my head band?

"FOLLOW ME TO FREEDOM!"

Some highlights from my Yahoo conversation with Mark:

Some memorable quotes from me in my conversation with my friend Mark today on Yahoo.  I'm on my game today...

ericlbecker2: Wait, I'll do it for them. "Mark, premarital sex is like an oleander. Sure, it looks pretty, but you wouldn't want to feed it to your dog."

ericlbecker2: Counter-argument: sex will make the hair on your chest grow big and strong.

ericlbecker2: I just want to share a beautiful moment I just had.
ericlbecker2: I was thinking "damn, I wish I had a Coke."
ericlbecker2: And I opened the fridge, and sitting right there, unmolested and somehow untouched from our bar-b-que on the 4th was an ice-cold can that said "well hello Eric, it is I, a can of Coke. I am cold and tasty and my contents are under pressure in this can so I am as fresh as fresh can get."

ericlbecker2: Well...like I said man? I'm gonna trust your judgement.
ericlbecker2: Otherwise I'm gonna start sounding like a Youth Pastor who secretly covets the 16 year old girls who've discovered low-cut tops.

The Boat House: A Dining Experience

I have to say that my favorite place to eat in Ohio is the Montgomery Inn Boat House.

In fact, the Montgomery Inn Boat House is so good that I'd suggest that anyone driving within like 200 miles of Cincinnati should go there just for the Ribs and Chops.

It all started when I was approaching my second weekend in Ohio.  Most everyone else was going home for the weekend and I was at my apartment by myself.  I had asked my friend Meg "what the hell is there to do in Ohio?" and she told me about the Boat House.  She said "go and have the ribs.  They are awesome!"  So I went.  And Meg was right.

It took about an hour to get seated on a Friday night.  I informed the maitre'd that it was my first time at the Inn and that I was from Los Angeles and accustomed to some world-class cuisine and asked him if the Boat House was up to the challenge.  He said "of course, and may I suggest a combination of the ribs and pork chops."

Now I am going to suggest the same to you.

If you have only one meal left before you die, then fly to Cincinnati.  Don't question it.  Just do it.  Save your appetite, you're going to need it.  And go to the Montgomery Inn Boat House and have the ribs and chops.  Oh.  My.  God.  The ribs are delicious.  And the pork chops.  WOW.  The pork chops are to die for.  Sweet, succulent.  These are more like a filet mignon than any pork chop you've ever eaten.

The restaurant itself is a beautiful location.  Valet parking was $3 (I'd imagine it could be as high as $5, but even at that, by L.A. standards, very reasonable.)  The Boat House is right along the Ohio River near one of the bridges.  You can sit there and watch boats go by and enjoy a beautiful view of the bridges.

One suggestion: try not to go on a night when the Bengals are playing a football game.  When the game's over, 70,000+ fans leave the stadium and the streets don't move.

But wow.  Wow.   Never before has a pork chop been so worthy of being blogged about.

I want one right now!  Who wants to go to Cincinnati???

Indiana: It's a Waste of Space

Last summer, while I lived in Dayton, Ohio for two months, I learned quite a few lessons.

The first lesson was that the Ohio River is like nothing we have out here.  In L.A., Rivers are basically cement canals with a trickle of water flowing through them.  After a rain storm, they might fill up a quarter of the way.  But there's little more to them than a dry creekbed.  The levies are virtually pointless and just there for the event of like a 100 year flood event or something like that.

The second lesson was that Dayton didn't have much night life.  Other than $1 burgers on Tuesday nights, you had to create your own fun, which might explain why so many people in my training class were fucking each others' brains out.

But the most important thing I think I learned in my trip to Ohio was that the State of Indiana is pretty much useless.

There are about 250 miles of Indiana separating Dayton, Ohio from Chicago, Illinois.  I know this because I drove those 250 miles.  They were pretty horrifying.

First, I need to make a point about Interstate 70 in Ohio between Dayton and the Ohio/Indiana line.  This stretch of freeway looks like it has its own personal gardener that tends to it every day.  The grass is green and beautiful and there isn't a dry patch or high stretch to be found.  The trees are brilliantly colored.  The sun shines down on I-70 in Ohio as if God Himself is blessing it each and every day, as if to say "I realize there's problems in the world, so I'm going to give unto Ohio a blessing in a well-maintained I-70."

Then you go through an archway thing, cross over a small river, and you're in Indiana, and it's like instantly you've found the land that God forgot.  The grass is dry and patchy and overgrown in some areas.  And the closer I got to Indianapolis, the darker the sky got until about 15 miles out I found myself in a fierce Midwestern thunderstorm.

This isn't your mother's thunderstorm.  You think you've seen bad rain in L.A.?  L.A.'s worst deluge is a drizzle compared to what I drove through.  The water came down so hard and fast that it was nearly a solid sheet.  Windshield wipers weren't designed to increase visibility so much as to make loud whooshing sounds that confirmed you were still alive.  Traffic slowed to about 15 miles an hour as everyone chose a designated position on the road and maintained it.  Even people who were native to Indiana seemed scared...in fact, they seemed more scared than I was.  I didn't have a frame of reference.  I was actually confused.  I thought maybe a dam had broken somewhere and that any minute I was going to get hit by the surge and there was nothing I could do about it.  So I just stuck to my lane and braced myself to the wheel in my little Pontiac G5 I'd rented.

Then signs started telling me that I couldn't go to Chicago the way I wanted to go.  I called my friend Macaire and said "umm...these signs say there's flooding on 80."  Macaire advised me to drive to Gary (which is where the flooding was) and see if the Skyway was open.  Thankfully, it was, and for $3, I saved a few miles and got around the floods, not to mention hit Metro Chicago much further up along the highways than I would have taking the free route.  But back to Indiana...

I slowly got used to this downpour.  By the time I hit I-65 on the Northwest corner of Indianapolis (a town that claims to have hundreds of thousands of people but looks more hicktown than Dayton, and probably is...) I realized I was in some deep shit.  Right as the ramp turned to start me Northwest toward Chicago, a bolt of lightning hit across the fields that lit up the sky for a full 5 seconds.  I think everyone on the road was temporarily blinded.  And we were all going about 60-65 by this point, because now nobody cared that the rain was a near-solid sheet...

So I get out on I-65 and head Northwest.  Somewhere along the way, I discovered that Purdue University is actually out in the fields near Lafayette.  "Oh...well, now I know where that is," I said to myself.  And I upped my speed.  65 to 70.  70 to 75.  75 to 80.  My thought was "I don't want to be out here, why would a cop want to be out here?"  So I went 80-85 miles an hour through the rain holding on for dear life and hoping nobody was blacked out on the road.  Every couple of minutes another bolt of lightning would flash somewhere across the sky.

The worst part of all is that there were no landmarks, no frame of references, except for West Lafayette, between Indianapolis and Gary.  I mean NONE.  I'm convinced that the land around I-65 disappeared that night and had I driven off the road I would have fallen into an endless abyss and never been found or heard from again...or re-emerged in Japan or something.  I know the time between Indianapolis and Gary was only about 2 hours, but it felt like an eternity.  By the time I reached the Indiana Toll Road to the Chicago Skyway, I was just grateful to be back in an urbanized area.

My return trip after a pretty awesome weekend in Chicago in which I had drinks in good bars, hung out with my friend Macaire and her cousin Courtney and varous other people, and stayed in the cheapest motel room I've ever stayed in (the ceiling in the bathroom had a huge bulge in it and leaked, and the drawers next to the bed had no bottoms in them,) was much less eventful.  Which actually made it seem LONGER than the drive to Chicago.  With the sunshine, I realized that Indiana was nothing but fields.  NOTHING BUT FIELDS.  And Indianapolis and Purdue University.  I don't think there's anything else there.  Even the fact that Interstate 69 enters Indianapolis isn't reassuring...it just stops there.  The highway most likely to be turned into a sexual reference gets to the outskirts of Indianapolis and just ends there!  No 69 in Indy!  (They're planning on continuing it further South, but that'll take years...)

So to my friends who live in Indiana....no offense, but your state sucks.  Chicago is an awesome town and Ohio's an okay state.  Why couldn't you guys get it right?

Hmmm...so next posting?  I don't know yet...maybe I'll tell you more about the Midwest, maybe something else :-)  I have a ghost story to put in here some time...

-Eric

Who knew that Google and Blogger were buddies?

Apparently they're bed buddies, because I can use the same account name to slip like a sperm between them and then incubate for 9 months and become their googleblogger spawn!

Yikes!

Today I'd like to look a little bit at a topic that's a giant concern to all of us as U.S. citizens, workers, and consumers: the drop in the value of the dollar.  Perhaps you've noticed lately that there's a lot of layoffs going on, a lot of companies are reporting lower earnings, and so forth.

You may also notice that you're paying more for gasoline.  And that economists are talking about how the value of a dollar is declining, possibly at an all-time low once you adjust for inflation and so forth (I've never quite understood how they can accurately come up with that number, but I guess it comes from a formula using the price of products, some calculation about real wages, imports and exports, so on and so forth.  I'm not an economics major and never claimed to be, so I'll leave it to the big guys to determine how that all works.)

You see, we face a pretty tense issue right now.  Seems that our dollars just aren't worth as much as they used to be.  Even the oil industry and OPEC is trying to make the Euro the currency of choice when it comes to the price of oil.  Now, without going into all my conspiracy theories about why this is, let's look at the reality.

Too few people have too many dollars, and too many people have too few dollars.  Let's be realistic here.  A CEO of a major company will often have a severance package in the millions.  I was reading that in 1998, the CEO of Chevron had a $30 million severance package.  The CEO of Home Depot has a $20 million severance package.  As I recall, there was a CEO of a major oil company got $400 million.  $400 million dollars for not doing his job well!  If I go to work and do my job well, I make 36 THOUSAND.  If I get laid off from a job, I'm lucky if I get anything more than a payout of my vacation time.  If anything, the CEO who doesn't do his job should be paying the company back.

Of course, these same companies that offer these humoungous severance packages are also laying a lot of people off.  And what's their concern about the value of a dollar if they're exporting jobs to India and Thailand and China and who knows where else?  They're sleeping easy and have their money.  What's funny is that these same people believe there should be smaller government and less taxes...and want YOU to believe the same thing!

What benefit does a smaller government and a less-taxed rich population have to you?  Think about this...in theory, maybe they could hire more people, give more jobs, give more benefits.  But why would they?  There's no laws or regulations in place to force them to do this.  No, your dinky salary would likely stay the same.  And it's not like you can go elsewhere and earn more.  No, it almost feels like the corporations of the world have gotten together and discussed this thoroughly.  They can't (and won't) raise wages because if they did it could create a competitive imbalance for top talent and cost them more money to acquire the best minds, the best salespeople, the best typists, the best programmers, the best trainers, the best everything.  By keeping wages artificially low, they do more for your bottom line and force you to take whatever job you can get, whatever low-wage you can get, whatever bare-bones benefits you can get (although admittedly, this is better than no benefits at all!)  In effect, when Marx talked about man being dissociated from his labor and unsatisfied with his plight in life, this is what he talked about.  A price is being put on your labor, it's being assigned a value, and that value is lower than what you're worth, lower than the time you've put in in your life acquiring the skills you've acquired and the abilities that you have.  Frankly, most people end up in positions where those skills aren't even utilized.  They acquire new skills, but these skills and these jobs are not as wholly satisfying as the ones they have acquired previously.  Indeed, what is a Sociology major doing training and promoting an automotive industry product?  Maybe I can do this well, but my time would be better spent conducting field research or writing theory.  Alas, this is relegated to blogs and coffee house discussions, and as much social capital as it might buy me, it's not increasing my financial bottom line, which is, unfortunately, a very important thing in this society.

So how does one combat this issue?  How does one "take back" the fair wages and force employers to pay them what they deserve to be paid?  Obviously, going into a job interview and saying "I think you should pay me twice what the job is offering because the CEO of your company made $300 million last year and that's excessive" is not going to win you any friends.  No, the short-term solution, unfortunately, is not that simple (and you won't get the job that way, unless your interviewer is equally disgusted with the situation, likes your gumption, and doesn't mention your personal views to Human Resources.)  I'm still trying to figure it out.  But there are a few scenarios which can be looked at to determine how this could be handled.

1.)  A Socialist revolution.  Yeah, why not overthrow the current economic system?  Rise up, overthrow those in power, unoppress yourself, and take over the means of labor!  But wait, this would require a massive amount of manpower and you would have to be prepared to distribute labor according to the strengths of the people you have.  And how do you do that in a nation of 300 million?  I'm sure it COULD be done, but the vision of a worker's utopia might be severely compromised.  All it takes is one rotten apple to spoil the bunch.

2.)  Work your ass off.  That's right.  Use your day job to earn the bulk of your money and use your nights and weekends to pursue what you love.  Write.  Act.  Perform.  The company can control you from 9-5 (or whatever your hours are,) but they can't dictate to you what you can and can't do off the clock (albeit, there are some things that could probably get you fired if they found out.  Don't do those things!)  Hone your craft, be disciplined, and pursue, pursue, pursue!  Unfortunately, this can cause a great deal of stress and a loss of sleep, so you're going to have to be disciplined and be able to "make time for yourself."

3.)  Everybody could just stop going to work.  "What?"  Well, yeah.  If we have NO workforce,  then we have NO productivity.  The rich can't be rich without a workforce, and if nobody did anything, nobody purchased goods, nobody drove, nobody did ANYTHING...well, someone would have to do SOMETHING!  Effectively, if people just rejected the current economic and social system, in a very short period of time it would cease to exist, creating a state of anarchy and costing the economy and the government trillions of dollars in lost labor, sales, and taxes.

Unless you're looking for a nation-wide revolution of some sort, option 2 is the most feasible.  In a time where your dollar is worth less, it might be time for your sense of self-worth to become higher.  Make impressions where you can and when you can.  Reach out to people.  Network.  Collect a body of writing or a collection of songs or art.  Do something or create something that other people can use.  Get published.  Make your own mark on the world.  Because in a time when "they" have so much and YOU have so little, unfortunately, it takes more than a smile, a job, and an education to make ends meet and make life great.

-Eric